There were so many ideas swarming around my mind as I thought about this post. After all, Mother’s Day is this Sunday. One of the most important days of the year. Be it, Hallmark holiday or not. If you’re a mother and are reading this, I hope and trust that you will be showered with love this weekend as well as each and every day. For ourselves (as moms), I’d like all of us to give ourselves the “Most Important Gift this Mother’s Day”:
Compassion for ourselves when we experience those “pit in the stomach” moments.
You know those moments. The times when you think you have done the worst thing ever. That you are letting your child down because you have dropped the ball. Again. These moments can range from forgetting a picture day, missing a swim class enrollment, or forgetting the ever-important “school spirit” t-shirt day. I may be exaggerating. Slightly. 😉
As my kids get older and are involved in more activities, there seems to be higher chances for me to “drop” the ball on something. Anything.
Example: Last fall, I enrolled the girls for Ballet for the first time. Other than 1 or 2 “Observation Days,” there were few opportunities for parents to see the girls dance.
Well, my recent “dropping the ball” incident happened last month at my 7 year-old’s dance class. Every week at pick up, I would walk into a crowded waiting room. That day last month was different though. As I opened the entry door, a bunch of parents were walking out of the dance class. One by one, they walked out with toothy smiles.
Why were they in there? They never let parents in during class. And then it dawned on me…it was class observation day!
Thoughts running through my mind at that moment:
1) Why didn’t I put reminder on cell for class observation day?
2) Was Ellie upset that other classmates had a family member there watching but not her?
Moments into these thoughts, I looked across and noticed that the mom sitting by the door also didn’t make it to the “observation” either. When the class let out, that other mom’s daughter walked swiftly to her and mutters, “you weren’t there to watch me.” The mom’s reply: “I’m sorry, hon. I didn’t know. I just got here.” It did little to console her daughter.
Then, out walks Ellie. Cool as a cucumber. Straight faced. Not upset whatsoever. Just waiting for her Dum Dum lollipop (they pass that out after each class). Whew—my not being there didn’t faze her. She was fine. My independent 7 year old girl. Thank you for not making me feel terrible!
But I still had to say those words:
“Sorry babe. Didn’t know parents were allowed to watch today. Good thing it’s just practice, not the actual show.” She just gave me the “no problem, that’s okay” look.
As I walk out with Ellie, I did the most “mom-like” thing. I said to the other mom:
“Don’t worry. You’re not the only one who didn’t know. I missed the observation show today too.”
The mom gave me a smile. I can see the look of relief and appreciation in her eyes. “Oh good, I’m not the only one. I didn’t see a reminder sent.”
My response: “Me neither. Don’t worry. We may have missed today’s practice but we sure won’t miss their recital!”
She laughed. I laughed cackled. 🙂
So yes, we dropped the ball that day but when it really counts…no way will we goof!! But even if we did, chances are, we wouldn’t be the first nor the last moms to do so. COMPASSION. That’s what I mean. Compassion for ourselves and other moms!
As we enter Mother’s Day weekend, I hope that we give ourselves the gift of compassion in knowing that we are doing the best we can as mothers and caregivers.
We do not have to be perfect to be A–W–E–S–O–M–E!
Before I close this post, here’s a photo of the kids and me not too long ago. I can hold them forever…
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Please share this post to spread the message to other amazing moms out there! To never miss a post from Beauteeful Living, please subscribe here:
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Have you had any “pit in the stomach” parenting moments lately? Until next week, have a fabulous Mother’s Day weekend! Don’t forget that you are all loved! Xoxo, Tee.
It is important to forgive ourselves because we are all going to drop the ball at one time or another.
Awww… the picture of you with your kids is so sweet! I recently missed “observation week” for my daughter’s piano lesson — I was allowed to sit in, but didn’t know it! Luckily, my daughter’s piano teacher invited me to see the next class. It was nice chatting with you at the conference today! Happy Mother’s Day!
Hi Lauren! It was so great meeting you in person the yesterday! Thanks for commenting. That’s so nice of your daughter’s piano teacher to let you sit in at the next class :). Hope you enjoyed your Mother’s Day!
I always make it a point to show for those classroom celebrations. Of course the last one my son begged me to go and I promised I would. Wouldn’t you know I totally forgot?! You are so right though, we have to forgive ourselves for faux pas like these. No one is perfect and my son will be fine
Thanks for sharing your story, Yanique. Hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
Mother’s are wonderfully imperfect, and we love them anyway. We have to forgive ourselves for not getting it right every time. Thanks for sharing!
I can completely understand what it feels to miss out on something especially where kids are concerned. But we all are humans and we learn from our mistakes.
Great Post! Have a lovely Mother’s day weekend.
I read some where that I am enough. So I need to remind myself that I am enough.
You sound like a great mom. You can’t do it all all the time but you were there to get her. You need to worry when you stop getting pits in your stomach
This is all so true and beautifully written. Sometimes we nail it and other times we miss it. I always have to remind myself that each time I mess up is not guaranteed to ruin my kids. Because I forgot it was bring a stuffed animal to class day does not mean my kid will end up in jail. It can feel that big at times. I hope you have a wonderful mothers day!
Thanks, Emily. Same to you!
I have definitely been there. And I beat myself up for it when it happens. It was so nice of you to reach out to that other mom and make her feel better.
We have all missed events in our children’s lives. We are not perfect. I can tell you are a great mom!
Oh I agree completely! Don’t get down on yourself for not being perfect. Do the best you can and trust that your children know you love them — that’s the most important thing!
I agree completely. Thanks for commenting 🙂
It’s definitely hard not to let the mom guilts get to you. I’m still working on that. 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day!
Oh, I’ve had those moments too, but it’s good to show compassion to the others in the same boat.
Great post! Hope you have a nice mother’s day 🙂
Ugh I know these moments all too well and I definitely beat myself up over them. I’ve got to take your message to heart and let go of the mom guilt and be more compassionate. Thanks for the advice!
Thanks, Louisa!
I think you sound like a wonderful mommy!
Oh I’ve had these moments, but my 5 year just guilt trips me. I believe his last words were, “My heart is breaking because you weren’t there and all the other mommies were.” Ugh. He got over it though, that sensitive little boy of mine. I love him to death. Your a good momma.
*correction* wasn’t there to pick him up early!
I had one moments yesterday! I forgot to put my son’s allergy eye drop in before sending him off to school. Now mind you, he has severe spring allergies that affect his eyes and before getting the right treatment for him, his eyes would swell also most completely shut. It was not until 12:30 p.m. yesterday, that I realized I had not followed the eye drop regiment. With visions of a kid will extremely swollen eyes sit in his classroom, I speed home got the drops and head to his school. I had him called down and he was surprise to see me. My fears of him suffering luckily had not come true. His eyes were slightly red but no major problem. I put in the drops and sent him back to class. The only thing he was unhappy about was that I was there to pick him up early! 🙂
Thanks for commenting, Dianne. You’re a wonderful mom & this is a perfect example of it (by you driving all the way to school to bring drops in). Thanks for sharing your story! Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
Great post, Tee! Compassion not only for ourselves but for other moms too. Loved how you let the other mom know that she wasn’t alone. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thanks, Tiffany! Yes, compassion for yourself and all mothers out there! Have a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend! Thanks for stopping by.
Wonderful post! Here lately it seems like all of the moments I’m having are “pit in the stomach” moments. Lol! Like having to tell my oldest that the college of her dreams wasn’t financially possible. But I also appreciate being compassionate to ourselves. Definitely something I am going to take away. Thanks!